Dead Mice

This is a repost of something I'd posted in the Dhu Gillywack events folder just after it occurred, summarized and much much shortened.

Ok, I promised Unaeng I'd post this, so here it is.

Warning: This is not for the squeamish.

Unaeng shrills, "We can play...three hundred things to do with a dead mouse!"

300 uses for a dead mouse, or as many as you can get your hands on, in no particular order. Along with a few other comments.

Eat 'em
Roll 'em and smoke 'em
Make 'em into cloaks
Play hackysack with 'em
Feed 'em to the Kobold revolution
Use them as small storage containers
Tease prissy types with them
Stuff mattresses with them
Brush your teeth with them
Floss with the tails or the whiskers
Make slippers
Wave them in front of Seckara the rat queen and laugh
Use them to chase Sugardance around the room
Make a wig out of their fur
Use them as a doorstop
Wedding gift for those who have everything
Nasty joke(what kind wasn't mentioned)
Ball in dodgeball
Napkinholders at formal dinners
Charity chest donations
Drop from tree in Town Central
Wave in front of a wizard and complain about them having killed your familiar
Drop them down the front of some courtier's dress
Tie two together by the tail and use as a bola
Stuff bodice/kilt/trousers
Ear plugs
Tails make good fringe
Tip empaths
Make a mobile to keep the baby quiet
Make an exfoliation cream from the toenails
Sponge to wash the windows
Sponge to wash the dishes
Wash cloth
Stomp on them(live ones work better--they squeak)
Tie tails together to make kite string
Earrings for a giantkin
Cut off the legs and use as toothpicks
Tie together for a crown/bracelet
Use as a belt buckle
Use strips of skin to replace eyebrows singed off in unfortunate machinery explosions.(yes, that one came from a gnome)
Poke out the eyes and use them as fake gems to bribe gnomes with
Tickle people with the tail
Make mouse tail soup
Rip off their limbs and build a giant zombie mouse
Push them in squares all day/Pull them on a string in squares
Make Sugardance sick
Feed to Giggler
Wind the tail around its body and make it into a yo-yo
Play toss the mouse with your friends
Mouse badmitten
Tail shoelaces
Mouse croquet
Make the whiskers into fake eyelashes for your big date
Or a mustache
Dried can be used as a darning egg
Mouse finger puppets
Cut its head off and play Mouseball
Seat cushions
Nail them to the wall in interesting color patterns in place of wallpaper
Tile the bathroom
Hang em from a tree, mouse wind-chimes
Hang em up on yer thrakmas tree
String em on the back of the wagon of newlyweds
Use em as a doorchime pull
Shingle your house
Shellack and use as lawn ornaments
Snip off the paws, candy them, and serve them as a light dessert
Pickle them
Mouse fondue
Bundle them up into a turban
Stuffing for your pillow
Bedding for the cat
Fertilizer for the garden
Bundle a dozen of em put em on the end of a stick for a floor dust mop
Stuff them and annoy cats with them
Tie two together and wear as earmuffs
Turn upside down and make a coin purse
Tie the tail in a loop and wear as a charm bracelet
Weave a basket out of the tails
Make a brush out of their wiskers
Make a backscratcher out of their claws
Shave them, stretch out the skins, and make a lovely lampshade
Burn them, slice them into little round pieces, paint them and use them as fake Mousemoney
Bap em wit a fryin pan and they make lovely doilies
Tile the floor with their teeth
Make a mosaic table-top with their teeth
Lay them on their backs, legs up, and use them fer drink holders, will even absorb that extra moisture that drips from yer cup
Stuff them in the toes of shoes that are too big
Munch on their innards while watching the Planetarium show
Broke yer ball&chain? tie a mouse tail to a stick!
Chop their tails off and hollow em out to make straws
Hold them by the tails and use them as hammers
Or box bashers
Use their tails fer lock picks
Use their claws to clean underneath your fingernails
Use them as a Sling
Dried and flattened they make good putty scrapers
Get three or four of them and roll them up tightly, squishing them together and then you give it to your bestest friend as a pillow
In place of rocks for a catapault
Slingshot amunition
Give them to little ones and tell them that they are the newest rat attraction for the catacombs
Baby rattle
Skip them over Lake Eonak
Baby bottle
Teething ring
Arrange them in dramatic poses on your table for an intriguing centerpiece
Hang upside down and use as dingle ball decorations on a wide brimmed hat
Squeeze them out and invite some guests over
Put them on the top of a cap as the puff-ball
Clown nose
Prop their mouths open and pose them on their hide legs and make flower vases
Toothpick holder
Tie one on a stick and hang it from a cats neck, so that the sticks extends out about two feet or so, and watch the cat go for hours trying to catch it
Fishing lure
Dead mice...ferret bait
Cut the eyes out and use as a pencil holder
Turned on thier heads for an eraser holder
Pin cushion
Rumor has it that fire cats come when you tap a dead mouse
Wave Major Shock wands at them and watch them squirm
Empty 'em out, sew up all openings but one, and blow 'em up into a pretty balloon
Prop their mouths open, and stick em in yer containers, if someone tries to theef ya, have it rigged so that its jaws clamp down on tha theef finger
Make string out of the tail
Stuff with beans to make beanbags
Jewelry box. Perfect to hide them valuables
Use em as stepping stones in the garden
Put their heads on sticks and sell them on the amunet
Wear em as a pin
Set em loose in a mrechant to clear a room
Make a wreath
Chocolate covered mice
Bait for a dead cat
Strap them on wheels, let them all roll through the gates and yell Invasion
Stuff em so the claws stick out, stick a pole in the back and use it to pick up litter
You pull their tail, their tongue sticks out
Use the tails as hair-ties
Use it as a roommate
Stuff with mini fireworks and confetti and rig it so a pull on the tail shoots out the confetti
Air freshener
Submit it in the gladiator tournament
Braid the whiskers into nooses
Light them on fire and use them to make your way through Labrinthe's maze
Tie em to the flowergirls dress and let HER be followed by a million cats for a change
A string of mouse teeth.. for halflings you know
Load them in watercannons and shoot them at the constable
A target for water cannon practice
Clotheslines if you tie all the tails together
Stretch them out and wear them as a bow tie
Give them to Blyn
Put a few gears in and make wind up toys
Stretch em and use as a squeekin tamborine
Make itty-bitty coats out of them for crickets to wear
For lizards you need to have two mice
Sell to kobolds as livestock
Scatter them under second-story windows so that you have a soft landing in case you fall out
Loop their tail around for a keychain
Use them as lures for brindlecats
Toe cozies
Use them instead of darts for a child-safe version
Grilled mouse on a stick
Put on the end of a long stick for a spiderweb getter
Use their rear ends to put a cigar out and the middle as the ashtray
Sell them to a holey cheese maker
Place one on each corner of a square, so you know when to turn when you're running in squares
Strap them to the bottom of your feet for those unexpected coal-walking events
Use them as checkers
Stick them on a flower stem and sell them as new roses
Roll a boulder over them and use them to replace your Most Wanted poster
Paint dots on em and use em as dice
Implosion fuel
Stuff them into a large sack and use them for a soft, albeit temporary, pillow
Slice the nose a bit and use them as pens
Cut the head off and use as a ring
Stuff em in a sack and use them to beat people with weak stomachs to death
Keep the nose, dip the tail in ink and use the nose as an eraser
Flattened they make good coasters
Use as Loofahs
Stick on the end of your sword when you're in town to avoid expensive fines
Use em as gags

Sabitor sings:

"There was a dead mouse on the ground,
Which some dwarf warrior just found,
He screamed like a girl,
And a rock he did hurl,
Making a loud SQUISH sound."

Put on the end of a stick and use to find steam leaks on the airship
They're good to sing ode to
Make runestones with mice dying of different things
Steal folks gems and replace with dead mouse
Stuff one full of peanut butter and one full of jelly and make your own squeezies
Slip em in Lissa's chocolates
Slip em in Ylena's shoes
Stuff them into watercannons aimed at you and watch them explode
Put them in the slot machines and let people win them
Stick them on your spurs to stop the wife-alerting jangling when you try to sneak in at 3 in the morning
Strap em to yer knees, they're perfect kneepads for kneeling rogues in the east tower
Put them in the darkbox for people to win
Put em a bag , light on fire , and put at someone's front door , ring chime and run
Put em in a bin and let people buy them
Use them as handy grenades
Use em as doors
Put random spells of destruction in em and give them out as gifts
Pile them up to stop flooding
Tack one to your door and use it as a mouse doorknocker
Dress them a few of them up as Frazerarg and watch Klaive go crazy
Be the first on your block to collect all one million
Use them as bombs, no one will suspect it
Put them on the menu at the Grub and Grog as appetizers
Stick a chain through them and wear them around your neck
Use them like a slingshot with their tails
Use their ears to make silk purses for those darn lizards
Keep one in your pocket as a soft, non-nose-irritating handkerchief
Use as a curtain pull
Stiffen their tails and use for Hairbun holders
Use them to scare your grandma
Use them for new amulets
Use them as tassels on your afghan
Roll your hair in them and use them as curlers
Glue their feet to the wall and use their mouths as paperclips
Tie four together and insert a stick for a backscratcher
Hold them by their backs and use their feet as hooks for that nasty climbing you gotta do
Tie two to the end of a stick by the tail and use them as a clacker thingy
Stick on the end of a toothpick, instant ear cleaner
Pan scour
Use em as hair replacement for bald dwarves
Fur replacement for scalded cats
Bald toe spot
Stretch their hides on a loop, attach feathers and call it a dream catcher
Dip them in metallic paint and give them to Lodda to make pins out of, but quick before rigor mortis sets in or they won't be poseable
Toe-hair replacement for halflings who lose their toe-fur
Paint "I'm the runner" on them, tie them on strings, drag them through town and then run to the Spider Temple
Halfling toe combs
Drop them from the ramp and see if they can fly
Try to fill the town well with them
Throw them like rotten veggies at gnomes
Drag them through the catacombs to draw cheeses
Lay them across stone benches for bum cushion
Dip them in kerosene and use them as long lasting torches
Put them on the stone bench in town central and tell people they're like acantha leaf
Cut them in pieces and sell them as puzzles
Sew buttons over their eyes and give them to your child as a teddy-bear
Put them in your gem pouch so the thieves get a special surprise
Sell em at the pawn shop
Mouse tarts
Make mouse stroganoff
Put them on your hands and chew their nails, instead of your own
Stomp them into juice
Sell them to a youngster and tell 'em they'll learn faster while holding one
Attach strings to them and make them puppets
Fly an airship over the porch and dump them there
Mouse fur toupee
Take their teeth and sell them as dentures
Shave down a dwarf's face then attach mouse fur so they don't realize their real beard's gone
Market them as a new kind of cigar
Incense too
Put them in an "attack" pose and put them in your living room at home
Dangle them in long strings to use as room-divider curtains
Mount the heads and tell people they're soooo hard to hit with the wagon
Put one on the chain in the bathhouse as a pull
Make caramel-dipped mice instead of apples
Mouse on a rope fer them relaxin showers
Sew them on a cloak, wave it to make their teeth chatter and sell it as scripted
Soap dish
Chain them together for a jump rope
Mount a blade in its mouth and sell it as a razor
Give dead mice to dead cats
Chain them together to make a rope down off the airship
Link together for a mouse chain mail shirt
Ese their tongues for powder make-up
Stuff em where the cogs fell out the airship
Use them for damage padding
Stuff them inside your walls for insulation
Stuff in the back of your pants for padding when you get knocked on your bum
Put them in the incubator to keep the chicken eggs warm
Chain them to cart wheels and wish your enemies a bumpy ride to Zul Logoth
Tell a ranger they really can imbue one
Sell them to Shallowgrave and say that they're rats
Use em to feed your fish
Use them for summer snowball fights
Do experiments on them just to see what happens
Try to bring them back to life as zombie-mice
You could distill them and make mouse spirits
Play spin-the-rat, using its tail as the pointer
Light them on fire to keep the mosquitos away
Skin them and sell the bones as mini dragon skeletons
Bring a mousie for the teacher
Dip it in boiling wax to make a candle with a surprise in the middle
Dress them up in wedding outfits and stick them on top of a wedding cake
Hang it from a clock to tick the seconds away
Use as a weather vane
Stick wire in the tails and use them for flower bouquets
Use their tails as compass needles
Use them to invent ideas for what to do with them
cast minor shock at them continously while yelling "CLEAR!" in an inane attempt to raise them
Shove a dead mouse in all our mouths to shut us up
Mouse pancakes
Dress a dead mouse up but you can't take em anywhere
Hollow them out and use them as baby booties
Shoulder pads
Put eight in a floating disk and tell people the dead mouse brigade's out to get them
Offer them to Zelia
Enough to block up the gates
Toss a handful in the air and tell fortunes based on how they land
Sell the pelts and make enough money to buy a smooth stone
Let them get hard, crack the in the middle and use them as boomerangs
Let them breed to have baby dead mice
Steep them in boiling water to make mouse tea
Sell them to youngsters and tell them if they rub their sword with it it blesses the blade
Tell youngsters that rubbing them on the blade adds disease flares
Create a fashion trend wearing them in the Landing
Put a tiny apple in its mouth and serve it for dinner
Use em as spurs
Tie two together by their tails, it'd make an interesting top
Put them with ice cream for mouse a la mode
Sell them on the amunet with a minimum bid of 1 mil, just to make people wonder
Dye it red and serve it on top of an ice cream sundae
Have gladiator wars with them
Give one a witchwood wand and pose it in the front of the airship as Bemm
Trap testers
Stuff them in mystery backpacks
Drop a hundred of them them one west of a town center and breeze them in
Lay them all about you for an interesting symbol of need
Blame them for your weather
Drop 50 before casting unfocused implosion
See what they do in a rift vortex
Walk around town with a couple stuffed onto your fingers, entertaining yourself and yourself only with little puppet shows
Drop a bunch in Wehntoph hills so the wind blows them around and watch the hunters get confused
Drop them all in an invasion and implode to have them kill things
Tie them to a kite and use them to attract lightning
Give em to the monkies in river's rest zoo to throw at people
Hilt Cozy
Curse them and leave them all about
Gut them and use them as a belt pouch
Yell "Like gag me with a dead mouse!", then do
Play the hokey pokey with them

You sing:

"You put your right mouse in
You put your right mouse out
You put your right mouse in
And you shake it all about..."

Leave them in people's disks
Hang one from your guild graduation hat as a tassle
Stick a paper umbrella in them and put them in fancy drinks
Make drinking mice instead of drinking horns
Poached mouse with brandied cherries
Use all 300 to ancor a boat
Skewer cocktail onions on their tails and put them in martinis
Candied mouse with a sprig of mint
Roll their innards into long cords, tie them together and use it to strangle more mice
Make em into a shrine...someone will come worship it
Burn them all and sell their ashes as amazing miracle cures
Sell them in Icemule as mittens
Make little head cushions for your kids so they won't grow up as idiots when you drop them on their heads
Make mouse-paste and sell it as tooth-paste
Skewer them on the sword at the temple
Have a cleric raise them so I can torture them some more
Put tiny plate mail on them and drag them around, pointing and yelling "Spike!"
Attach a strap to their shoulders and let the squirrels use them as nut bags
Make a mouse abacus
Advertise when charged at the reach they cast wall of force when rubbed
Stuff them in an oak barrel to ferment, making refreshing mouse wine
Use em as harness buckles
Use their jaws to hang your laundry out to dry
Drop them in a barrel till you can train
Hang them from trees during Ebon Gate
Drop them in Eza's maze to find your way back out
Give them to gnomes to eat
Dip them in grease and start a gnome adoption agency
Give em ta the gnomes fer ear cozies

I think this quote pretty much summed up the entire game:

Now we all know who da sick minded people of elanthia are.

Myself(Gaeladrya), Sugardance, Sabitor, Unaeng, Suphia, Estolas, Nayta, Hilaire, Skuli, Hepsik, Ciannia, Niyare, Rosabel, Jaynae, Faelenor...more people I forgot.::ducks::

Honestly, I had the best time playing this game!

Gaeladrya's Muppteer

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