Simucon 2001 Quotes

Most of these are from the D&D game played Thursday and Friday nights and should be read in order, they'll make more sense that way. They're at the end.

If you know who said it where the ?? are listed, please let me know so I can correct them.

Also--read at own risk. There is some strong language in here.

"Hi, I'm Chiirsa! Two i's."-Tyrathia introducing herself to an HX player
"Ohhh! I *like* you!" Becka, innocently.

"You have to know that fine line between being an idiot and being a role player."-Setzier, Pure Evil seminar
"Is there a difference?"-Pyrocite?

"You're pretty, I'm drunk, please beat me."-Jael

"Pass me a lemon drop, it's not like I haven't had sixty."-Darcena quoting everyone from Quavvy's

"I'm up because she woke me up. Can I borrow that for a minute? I need to cut her head off."-Tyrathia, speaking of Nofret, asking for the migrating double-headed axe.

"I have nothing to worry about. I was circumcized forty-some-odd years ago."-Celtic in response to someone taking a swing at him with the axe.

"We just wanted to keep the bards in the dark."--?? At the Bard seminar GSIII

"Welcome to Microsoft Windows 98 workshop."-Celtic, attempting to open the GSIII Wizards: Enchanting seminar

"If you will put your real character name on the list as it's being passed around."-Celtic

"Can a sorceror and a wizard work together?"-question at the enchanting seminar

"-which contrary to poplar belief is not dead, it's just stunned for several rounds."-Braddach on the Barony plotline

"A quest is a search for something, like the search for the stones of-truth?"
"Stones of Virtue"--Audience in chorus
"Well, what do I know about virtue?"-Braddach

"If you have a general question, please hold it til the end. If you have a question like 'How do I stop this arterial bleeding,' raise your hand."-Braddach

"And I can't for the life of me role play him the way he was originally played-" Tyrathia on playing a character given to her
"Yes you can, just imagine the way you were when you were first dragged in kicking and screaming."-Elonka

"Ophion should be tied and Alan should be gagged."--Solomon after announcing them tied for third place in the GM/Staff category for the costume contest.

"You've gotta be one bad guy to have a duck as a familiar."--Tribanin
"Yeah, you'd be a bad motheraquacka."-Nofret

"Anime, you know anime!"
"Annie may, Annie may not..."-Tribanin

"The best I could get was you."-Tribanin to Veyl on Veyl's hiding under the table.

Rigby screams.
"And this has been a test of the emergency broadcasting system."-Tyrathia

"Someone on your raft is evil."-Tribanin, to a team of all true neutral and lawful good players after someone cast detect evil
"Like we couldn't tell that."-Nofret

"Are you planning to cut off my dick?"-Ryan the Snertboy
"No."-Tyrathia as she shoves Snertboy into the wall with an elbow to the ribcage.
Snertboy returns to his place at the end of the table.
"You should, he doesn't need small things like that."-Itron in an aside.

"I'm a Dwarf, I'm supposed to be small."-Snertboy on mooning team three.
"Oh, trust me my dear, everything I saw was exceptionally small."-Caprice
"Judging from what I saw, you have Halfling blood."-Nofret

"Never ever try to be rude to a team with three professional Bards on it."--paraphrased from just about everyone on team 3.

"Team one's raft has a slight drag problem because their mast will not stay above their raft without aid."-Tribanin, picking up the threads on gaming night #2

"How you got here is a mystery in more ways than one."-Tribanin on team two's arrival through the phantasmal force fire wall on the lake

"Ooga booga."-Tribanin quoting Gaeladrya's cleric going through the motions of casting protection from fire on Nofret's character
"Oh, I feel much better now"-Tribanin quoting Nofret's character at being convinced she's being protected from a fire wall that didn't exist but she couldn't disbelieve

"If something happens and you have to convince them that the next fire is actually real, you're going to have to convince them that the spell you didn't cast on them before isn't working now, and they're not really protected from the fire that didn't exist."-Tribanin

"My don't you all look like ants down there."-Tribanin, quoting Itron's Halfling upon climbing to the top of a 6-foot mast for a higher vantage point

"Are we there yet?" -Team three in chorus

"Why stick his legs in his mouth when you can castrate him?"-Tyrathia on getting revenge on Snertboy

"Do we come with protection from rabies spell?"-after reporting being bitten by Damissak

"It's nothing dirty"-Snertboy, handing Tribanin a napkin with note on it
"I was refering to the stain on the back."-Tribanin's answer

"But you won't know, until next round."-Tribanin telling two team two members about a pair of giant beetles bearing down on them in the dark

"Yes, there are protusions. They might be sex organs, you don't know, but you grab for them anyways."-Tribanin on Itron's character leaping onto the back of one of the beetles.

"Why it would have sex organs there is beyond me, but it's really none of my business." Tribanin on the beetle Itron's character is now riding

"I think the beetle's a little confused now. Usually it gets at least dinner first."-Tribanin on the beetle being ridden by Itron's character

"I'm a gnome, a toothpick's a pole for me."-Chastain on using his axe as a pole vault

"As your axe goes down, the gnome doesn't."-Tribanin on Chastain's character's attempt to pole-vault the other beetle

"The other beetle is a little jealous right now, since its food is now riding it."-Tribanin

"And if beetles could purr."--Tribanin
"Are they married yet?"-Caprice about Itron's character and his beetle mount
"No, he hasn't managed to steal a ring yet."-Tribanin on Itron's character

"Team two's captain has now defected to team three."--Tribanin

"Stroke the beetle and feed it too." --Elddric

"She walks up and heaves on the door-pushes on the door."-Tribanin as indicated character makes retching sounds

"I have one question: Are you serious?"-Davius on hearing that Snertboy has started organizing rocks on the beach

"Don't be stupid."-Snertboy
"Oh, just play with your rocks over there."-Caprice

"I'm stroking one beetle and the other one's on top of him."-Itron on his character and Chastain's
"And the third one's taking pictures and selling them on the web."-Caprice

"I chopped it in half besides the small portion of the raft."-Ryan

Tribanin grins evilly and lifts a single finger to his lips.
Ryan's character promptly falls off the raft in full plate mail.

"What about the crab?"-Caprice
"Had to be a very small crab to get under that codpiece."-Tribanin

"It just goes to show that it isn't the size that counts but what you figure out how to do with it."-Tribanin on Ryan's declaring his genitals too small for the crab to find.

"Last I heard he was screaming like a little girl."-Tribanin on Chastain's character

"Meanwhile from somewhere far down the hallway you hear the faint sounds of someone trying to sound like a little girl."-Tribanin explaining to team three about Chastain's character fleeing.

"He's built like a girl, so beautiful will work from him."-Caprice on Ryan's calling Tribanin beautiful

"Shit happens."--??
"Especially from a 60-foot dragon."-Tribanin

"No, there's no protection from evil over there."-Caprice

And thus ends my list of quotes. Have some? Share them!

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