Simucon 2009 Quotes

More quotes than ever before.

Which is kind of sad, considering I didn't have a laptop with me and hand wrote everything.

If you are not at least 18 years of age, stop reading and go somewhere else.

Really, I mean it.

Don't blame me if your parents get mad.

Rampantly out of order. No D&D this year, either. Sorry!

There are a few jokes about Michael Jackson's death in here that may or may not be offensive, but if you've gotten this far, you probably don't care.

To quote a t-shirt I saw at a con a few years ago: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be misquoted and used against you.

Any quote which doesn't have who it's by after it is unknown. If you know who said it, please let me know!

Vyrshkana/Cheesecake Gnome

I use my porn subscriptions much more regularly - don't you wish you had a laptop so you could type that right now? - Jolebin

And you think I need a laptop. - Vyrshkana

You're really cute so I'm going to be super-inappropriate later. - Jolebin

Don't put prepositions in my mouth. - Jolebin
It was a prefix. - Vyrshkana
Propositions you can put in my mouth, but…-Jolebin

We're here for a Simutronics gaming convention and everyone's talking about World of Warcraft. - Vyrshkana

It's a Zoha crit in Mafia Wars. I'm like, what the hell? - Obseden

The only thing I have a hand in anymore Empath-wise is healing. - Obseden
You have your hand in an Empath? - Jolebin

How am I supposed to find my quotes if I don't say penis? - Jolebin
You're intentionally feeding the beast. - Obseden
That sounds really dirty. - Jolebin

Now Tyrathia, there's porn on there. - Jolebin
I'm just going to…- Vyrshkana, trying to point out she has an online class
I'm just saying to be careful, because you probably wouldn't like it. - Jolebin
I'm not even going to go there. - Vyrshkana
I'll go there for both of us! - Jolebin

You know what a proposition is, right? - Jolebin
Vyrshkana nods.
It's when I offer to have sex with you. Only not you. Because you have girl parts. - Jolebin

Give it a week. I bet you it's a guy in Argentina. Can't blame him, Argentineans are hot, either way. -Jolebin

We could make a Jolebin quote generator. It'd have, like, five fields, and all of them would have 'penis' in it. - Jolebin

Mad Libs, the all-penis version. - Jolebin

I didn't bring any old ones, everyone knows who I am. - Jolebin on name badges

I learned how to drive in LA. That's why they don't like me in Texas. - Pomae

The other quote generator just arrived. - Vyrshkana pointing to Shavay

Let me clarify: Once you touched it and started playing with it, you discovered you liked it. - Jolebin
…it has a larger touchpad. - Shavay
So you liked it because it was bigger. - Jolebin (on Mac laptops)

Dragcave makes it sound different. Like Ru Paul is in there! - Jolebin on
Gives new meaning to coming out of the cave. - Pomae

Go ahead, be rude. The rest of us are. - Shavay to Redarch

Small children just entered. So I'm just going to go be quiet now. - Jolebin

This is why I don't read The Wheel of Time. - Vyrshkana listening to Shavay and Jolebin bitch about Robert Jordan

If everyone would stop publishing stories, I'd be able to catch up on my reading. - Shavay

Are we there yet? - Belnia
Yeah, we are. - Raelee

Ravendra has a red-tailed black hare, I think. - Vyrshkana on Plat characters with particular familiars
A red-tailed black hare? - Shavay
It's a rare medical condition. - Belnia

Man, you look like it should be the other end of Simucon. - Vyrshkana to Bubba

When you join a pick up game of basketball, a laptop is not the right choice. - Shavay

What's the point of an elevator you can't get a wet bar in? - Essentius

Then you have a handful of +5 splinters. - Shavay
And you get a bunch of +5 splinters when you use it. - Essentius on the +5 longsword of balsa wood

…So if they do something to us, we can turn North Korea into slag. - Shavay

I have avoided the short jokes for the weekend. - Carli

It's the new release by Microsoft. Paper 2.0 - Essentius

We're Bubba's stepchildren. - Essentius
And last year you had the red hair to prove it. - Vyrshkana
Yeah, we're Bubba's red-haired stepchildren. - Essentius
What about Cyberstrike 2? - Redarch
Cyberstrike 2 is the kid that got left at the gas station. - Essentius

David sent me a message from the room and texted. The message was, "They have the heat on in here." I sent a message back and said, "They must think you're really hot." - Jubalee

Can I ask a really stupid question? - Vyrshkana
Better than - oh. - Essentius

Can we have ponies? - Belnia to Bubba
Can I ride you like a pony? - Jolebin
Let me think about it - no. - Bubba
Ask him again on Friday. - Essentius
Have to buy him some drinks first. - Belnia

You're making a list? Of sorts? - Askip asking Vyrshkana what she's writing
Essentius starts laughing maniacally.

Now this looks more like Simucon. - Vyrshkana
Jolebin taps my shoulder.
"It's beginning to look a lot like Simucon. Every where you go…." -- Jolebin sings.

It makes exactly as much no sense at all. - Jolebin

What did you find? - Essentius
I found a white zinfandel. - Jolebin
It doesn't look very white. - Belnia
Fuck you. - Jolebin
It looks more like a blush. - Belnia

Evil has a name. It's called Simutronics. - Pomae

Since this is such a small Simucon, we're going to skip the round tables and just have square beds. - Essentius

We have the ultimate weapon. Guaranteed to solve any crime or problem. - Pomae
Bazuka? - Shavay
No. - Pomae

And we almost got through twenty seconds without someone saying the word penis. - Essentius

You can tell it's only Wednesday. The manager just walked by and she was smiling. - Pomae

We're leaving for Vivian's. - Belnia
But I have this wine! - Jolebin
Chug. - Belnia

You look like an old stoner. - Arcrest
If it grows, I'll smoke it. - Askip

And by the time you get to the bottom, you're dead. - Redarch
And not just once. Twice. Because you've been rezzed in the meantime and killed again. -Arcrest?

IHOP! - Vyrshkana
You do? Is that seat belt on? - Redarch

You can write down that I said penis right after that though. - Jolebin

I knew you were going to do something with that line. - Vyrshkana
If you talk, I will do something with it. - Jolebin

Damn, you don't fuck around when you smack people. - Jolebin
What's the use hitting people if they don't feel it? - Askip

What did you get? - Vyrshkana
Everything? - Jolebin

Remind me next year I don't need as much food. - Jolebin

It takes talent to make wings that people want and it's killing them. - Jim the chef at Vivian's Vineyard

I love that people will actually prostitute their hypothetical nonexistent children. - Jolebin
For a scam. - Alex

I hate FOX. - Vyrshkana
That makes perfect sense. You're a sensible person. - Askip

How are we doing over here? - Becky the Vivian's Vineyards waitress
I'm ready for a check. - Redarch
I'm ready for a nap. - Vyrshkana
Check and a wheelbarrow. - Grantor

I'm full of meat. -Jolebin
And not in the usual way. - Jolebin
I knew that was coming. - Brevis

Basically, calories never count, you fat cow. - Jolebin

A latex suit at Simucon. - Alex
Somehow it does not surprise me. - Vyrshkana

If you're not here next year, should we find your salon and go there? - Jolebin to Becky, who just graduated from cosmetology school

I could kiss him if you wanted. - Jolebin

Three words: Stop. Downloading. Porn. - Emeradan on why Brevis can't get Microsoft Internet Explorer to open.

I had to give her something. - Emeradan
Verbally. - Emeradan
As opposed to orally. - Krakii
That's another matter entirely. - Emeradan

Everything reminds me of a conversation. - Emeradan

I think my wife is trying to make sure I'm not having a good time. - Askip, wandering off to answer his cell phone
You're separated from her by thousands of miles. Of course you're having a good time. - Krakii
Good point. - Askip

And this is what happened in 1843. - Emeradan on the Weather Channel's playing the Best of Storms

Since you're not drinking, I had to drink for you. - Brikus
Makes perfect sense to me. - Krakii
Perfectly logical to me. - Brevis

Their text-based game is way weirder than ours. - Brikus on game cross-pollination.

Canadian whiskey? - Emeradan
If I have to. - Brikus
Don't even speak to me. - Emeradan

Somehow not feeling threatened by the quotes. Not really sure why. -Emeradan

You're looking at me in a really creepy and scary fashion. - Raelee to Brevis

And being female I can drink it without being ashamed. - Raelee on Triple Black
I'm so jealous. - Brikus

Our minister for health is basically Jabba the Hutt. Seriously, I've never seen a person subsume an entire chicken by osmosis except that woman. - Primus

Can I ask you a question? - Vyrshkana
Sure. You just did. - Solomon
Can I ask you two questions? - Vyrshkana
That was your second one. - Solomon
Don't bite your tongue off, Tyrathia, you might need it later. - Anji
I'll come back later. - Vyrshkana
I know the correct question. The correct question is, Can I ask you a question after this one? - Essentius

What time is it? - Vyrshkana
3:30. - Alex
Yeah. 3:30 exactly. - Major
3:30? That sucks. - Vyrshkana
You better write that down. - Major

These people are insane. And I work with most of them. - Calaveth

Our food's up. - Vyrshkana, after deciding what to order for lunch
Our. Food's. Up? - Catalia
You ordered an appetizer. - Vyrshkana

You? Have a hyperactive character? I'm so shocked! - Essentius

If they wanted to feed them, they'd just call in our debt and co-opt the United States. - Essentius on children starving in China

I know it's wrong, but I have to say it. And kids all over the world breathe a sigh of relief. - Essentius on Michael Jackson's death
I already said that. - Algion

We're going to find you a boyfriend this weekend. - Major
I'm scared of you now. - Vyrshkana
I would be, too. - Major

Clerics do it to stiffs. - Anji
That'll be necromancers now. - Ariawen
Yeah, well, they kind of usurped our territory. - Anji

I've already been informed that if I win it again there will be some serious questions about someone rigging the drawing. - Vyrshkana about the laptop raffle.

Where's the +5 shirt of drinking? - Zeyurn to Urwin (who was wearing the +2 shirt of dancing (cursed))

They allowed me to put on my badge, "You're the reason that I drink". - Flura

No sex allowed. At least outside. - Flura

There's no way one person codes all the shit you do. - Urwin
The robots are back home. - Zeyurn

'Aren't you going to drive?' - Primus quoting someone in a car
It's okay, we're from Europe. Where walking comes from. - Primus

You people eat shit. Your stores are useless! - Primus

The closest thing I found to a store was a place called Steak'N'Shake. I didn't go near it. - Primus

What are you writing? - Primus
Crowd starts laughing.

I jogged at 6 o'clock this morning. - Primus
I jogged at 8 o'clock. - Zeyurn
You're crazy! - Primus

I'm going to be torturing you later for the location of the necromancer guild. - Primus

I have a feeling I'm going to have a shitload of quotes from him by the end of Simucon. - Vyrshkana about Primus

That's like size 6 font! - Primus about my handwriting

You're free to discuss bras all you want, but I can't participate - Sebastienne

I heard there was an asshole here. - Algion
That would be me. - Major

She might answer and go, 'Lover?' - Major about his wife
Yes baby? - Harp

Hi, sweetheart. Pause. I thought I was your baby, though. - Algion to Major's wife

If she ends up drunk on the patio it's not our fault. - Harp about Mrs. Major
It's like I never left. - Major to wife

Hey, just remember they leave. - Algion about the prospective boyfriend

I'm sure at some point, everyone's going to give me shit about… - Vyrshkana, making typing motions

Four Sam Adams before dinner. - Major to his wife about being good
No, four Sam Adams before lunch. - Algion

As long as I can drive by Sunday, I'm okay. - Major

Thank you for filling up the rest of that page. - Vyrshkana

She picks up the phone and goes, "Hi, baby!" - Algion

'I'm gonna come down there and kick your ass.' I'm like, 'as long as it gets you here, I'll take a beating.' - Algion
And like it. - Harp

By the end of the con we'll find someone for you to practice carpal tunnel on. - Algion
You know, Lee's single this year. - Harp
I'm going to go find someone else to quote for a while. - Vyrshkana
You know she's going to go write that down, too. - Algion

Not only do I have to move you, I have to play Where in the World is Carmen San Diego. - Primus

Your currency's worthless. - Primus

I'm sure that's been there since the day this fine establishment opened. Back in 1652. No, wait. This is America. 2008. - Primus on the display bottle of Mountain Dew

Perhaps I should give the concierge a note saying I'm allergic to being shot. - Primus

Don't worry, man. This is a traditional Irish genie outfit. - Primus

It's a carousel for grownups. - Primus on NASCAR

Today I'm going to teach people how to play fightball. - Primus
Is that a promise or a threat? - Vyrshkana
I'm an open-minded individual. - Primus

It's the greatest cardgame ever made. Where men are men, women are women, and everyone has balls. - Primus

I am on holidays! Time has no meaning. - Primus

I was thinking about the spelling and going, Is that Germanic? - Merchant who is obviously too used to Simucons

I almost didn't understand when he said thanks. I almost feel bad. - Inauri

I'm going to destroy the space-time continuum. - Lohkrian, climbing under the table

You aren't even a GM so why am I even asking you? - Vyrshkana to Ysselt

They would ride war-tortoises. - Naos

The snail rides on the tortoise and is like, "Hey, slow down! You're going to get us both killed!" - Belnia

The owl got disconnected. - Raelee

GM A-Squirrel. - Naos purposely mispronouncing Oscuro's name

She came here to show me her cleavage. - Major about Bambina

You know it's a bad year when Vorclaf dies before Michael Jackson. - Gwenddolyn

When you guys finish this hand, take a five minute break for color up. - Rainea
Cholera?! - crowd

Lusus said 'I'm putting my kids to bed. Keep your pants on.' I asked, 'Do I get an answer faster if I take them off?' and he answered, 'It depends on how many people are around to document said event.' - Liagala

Text conversation:
Tell him I said hi and that he can hump your leg now. - Lusus to Liagala about Jessie/Licel humping Lusus' leg
He did. You officially suck. - Liagala
Awesome. - Lusus
Wait. Was this before or after your pants came off? - Lusus

Tequila makes me mad. - Alex
Tequila makes my clothes fall off. - Liagala

Oh shit, I did get quoted. - Liagala

No, no, no, I didn't say anything of the kind. - Liagala

That quote can follow anything else I said. - Liagala

Remember, her name is Ben. (pause) Dover. - Grantor

What did I have for lunch? - Liagala after admitting to having a weak stomach
We're going to find out real soon. - Alex

I'm probably not going to sing. - Alex
Then why are you even here? - Vyrshkana

Your name's Jonathon? - Liagala to Alex (Kal)
It is tonight. - Grantor

Are you a lesbian? - Grantor
No, but when I'm drunk, I pretend to be. - Liagala
You're my new best friend. - Grantor

What's Simucon for if not making an ass of yourself in the name of having fun? - Vyrshkana

Do you like the light sodium shit? - Alex
No, don't put that in my drink! - Grantor

I guess it's Michael Jackson night. - Vyrshkana
Not for him! - Grantor

Ow! I pulled hair! I only have six! - Grantor while pulling his nipples

Had to get a picture of the guys who Rickrolled the club. - Liagala

Don't write that down. - Grantor
I wasn't going to. - Vyrshkana

Come on, try it. It's raw octopus ovaries! - Grantor
Octopusses don't have ovaries! - Alex
I'm eating here! And it's flabby! - Grantor

You write way too goddamn tiny. - Grantor
Grantor fishes a marker out.
Here, use a marker. - Grantor

David Hasselhoff covered this song. Do not ask me how I know that. - Vyrshkana

You're the one being all snuggly and everything and you kicked me out of my seat. - Grantor

You need to record that Alex knows where Grantor's Viagra is. And he knows where Grantor got it. - Liagala

What what in the butt? - Rennoc

Over your shoulder? My ass!! - Grantor

When necros come out, I already know what I want to have as a Risen. Michael Jackson. Do you have any idea how many grafts you'd have to do? - Pomae

The only familiar that would be allowed to do that would be the gerbil. - Oolan on my idea that familiars should be able to bite barbarians for an inner fire hit.

Thank you for flying Griffin Air! - Belnia about Askip dying in OTF when the hotel network recycled

You know, every caramel you throw you'll lose a level. - Pogy

You're late! - crowd
Hey! I was playing settlers! - Krakii

I think we can start. Robert's here. - Phil about Krakii

It's Kuh-vieta. - Kveta
No, it's Kuh-veta - Belnia

And then finally we have the highman games. - Kveta
Belnia snorts.
Crowd starts laughing.

Highland games - crowd
She wrote highman. I'm going to kill her. - Kveta

Next we have GM Slicken, slacken, sleh… - Kveta
Close enough. - Sleken

Now. GM Nah-ohs. - Kveta
GM Nay-ohs. - Naos

GM Thandiwe. Thundiwee? Tandiwe… - Naos
Tattooine? - Belnia
GM Tattooine. - Naos

For Sorcerers. I don't know if we have any sorcerers here today. - Naos
They all quit. - someone in crowd

We just released a memo on proper hyphenization. - Kevta

Will it still have the 20-second cooldown? - Krakii
We don't know yet. (does double-take) How do you remember that?! - Estild.
He's Krakii!

Raise four people in the same pantheon. - Belnia
You can raise anyone in the room. - Oscuro
No, that's what you'll be doing for reps. - Belnia

Will that be released before I hit 95? - Raelee
At your rate? Probably. - Oscuro

Since Mist Harbor is getting hunting, will it also get an Adventurer's Guild? - Vyrshkana
Probably. Maybe. - Estild
Maybe. It's up to three or four people who aren't me. - Oscuro

Can we have ponies? - Belnia about the GS 20th Anniversary next year

One of the suggestions was to send that character to DR. Just open a portal and push them through. - Naos

That's a great question. I wish I had a great answer for it. - Naos

I promise by the end of the year the elemental lore review will be released. - Naos
Can I post that? - Belnia
Sure. I don't value my life. - Naos

Who plays a wizard? - Naos
Half the crowd raises their hand.
You are all awesome people! - Naos

Some of the staff right now is working on a system to let you grow your own herbs. - Solomon

That squeal you heard in the back is Ysselt. - Bubba about the mech split

Will there be a career in fingerpainting?

As it is now, as you get better, the weapons get better. With the new system, as you get better, the weapons get different. - Lohkrian

We'll split up into whatever groups you guys want to talk about. - Bubba
There'll be the Necromancer table and… - Shavay

If you ask about grave vaults, I will have to throw things at you. - Zeyurn

If you're a naughty necromancer, then you deserve to be punished. - Zeyurn

You can shoot any Risen you want, you just better hope it's not Totenus'. - Zeyurn

If you have a spouse, can you champion someone else, too?
Yes. - Bubba
I'm killing everybody! - someone else

Don't write checks with your mouth that your ass can't cash. - Bubba on consent

And we'd like to be able to tell more people to shut up and stop reporting. - Bubba on consent

Can Gemstone have that too? - Vyrshkana on the conversation window
Gemstone GMs can steal anything they want from us. - Socharis

Will the script check show up in the conversation window?
No. - GMs in concert

It's gotten to the point where Elanthipedia is a better resource than our website. - Bubba

I would love for the players to be able to update our website. - Bubba

I like killing NPCs, but the problem with killing Guildleaders is that you have to write a replacement. - Zeyurn

The reason Vorclaf was dispatched…was because he was played by so many GMs that it was impossible to keep him consistent. - Bubba
He slept with too many GMs. - Zeyurn

Like Moon Mages have their crazy transportational suicide stuff. - Zeyurn on guild uniqueness

I know what I like to imagine when I think of a Dance Swan. - Zeyurn on just what a Barbarian dance is

Play and find out. - Bubba
Oh god. - crowd.
We're going to throw a chair at you, Bubba. - Shavay

You can call me whatever you want. - Abasha

We have a joint project coming up. - Tiesse (and Abasha)
Not that kind of joint. - Bubba

It'll be a new wedding area inside a volcano. - Tiesse
Like the Incredibles!

You get left in and can't get out. - Socharis listing bugs in the Arena
Can we toggle that on certain people? - Bubba

He won't do a token auction but he'll sell his dirty laundry again. - Shavay

If anyone's ever seen Nobody around. Which you shouldn't have… - Obseden

GM QUarel. Events. - Quarel
And contrary to popular belief, that was not very eventful. - Bubba

She's my administrative assistant. So if I forget anything you can blame her. - Bubba on Audacia

Next. - Bubba
Next what? - Oolan

My pet project is making the astrology system something people want to use. Like fixing bugs that bothered me as a player, so remind me what those are. - Zeyurn

I guess I'll be coming to a system near you. - Gazlo

It involves acid and splashing. - Bubba
And slapfights. - Zeyurn

I do whatever it takes to make her look good. - Calaveth

Two Evans. Both Dwarf champions. - Socharis

I do…everything. But I've rewritten experience…twice. I've written more spells than all the other GMs put together. - Zeyurn
He's written more spells than any GM ever. - Bubba
Can we just go ahead and say that Zeyurn is in charge of DR? - Socharis

Dartenians' the God Emperor of Death. I'm the Minion to the God Emperor of Death. - Zeyurn

It's called enhancing your RPing experience.

And she'll hate you if you use eight types of silk in it. - Zeyurn about Abasha

I have killed most of you. Some of you have killed me in some form. I also kill myself occasionally. - Abasha
Sometimes there's death AND weddings. - Bubba

I just sit around and let them make me look good. - Bubba

We won't go into what your screen name used to be. I'm right in thinking you've changed it? - Bubba
Yes. Please don't shame me. - Tyrun
It's no longer Shawn is your sex god? - Bubba
Shawn, you'll always be my sex god. - Jolebin

Will there be sashaying? - Jolebin on the new movements system.
Yes, there will be sashaying. - Bubba

I hope one of them isn't a Z-snap. - Bubba

There may or may not be a snap sassy. - Tiesse
Snap sassy?! - Bubba

Back in the late '90's, the wizard had to be patched because people who looked at me would get knocked offline. - Bubba

Any progress on Zalishar or should I quit asking every time?
You should probably stop asking about Zalishar. - Zeyurn

When you start talking about Taisidon… - Bubba on quests being rereleased
Then we start crying. - Zeyurn

Ssra's like, don't even look at the current justice system, it will contaminate you. - Zeyurn

What about armor? - Redarch
I was hoping that was part of the horse question. - Socharis
Yes, we'd like to put armor on horses if we can. Next question. - Bubba

The guild definition is "we wear armor." - Zeyurn

Since you're rewriting the horse system… - Queslo
I did not say that I would rewrite the horse system. - Zeyurn

We're nerding it out like you wouldn't believe. - Primus

We men don't have to get down to a certain size. Men have three sizes - M, L, XL. - Primus
Actually, they do have small. Hi! - Jolebin poses

And they put S for sexually confused. - Primus

I eat six times a day at home. I just eat right. - Primus

What if it's between food and medicine for your kids? - Lisae
You should eat your kids. - Jolebin on the people in NYC who can't afford both food and medicine

There've been two different people named Ebony. - Jolebin
How many have been named Ivory? - Primus

I don't say vagina nearly enough. - Jolebin
But that's because they're girl parts. - Vyrshkana
Ew, girl parts. - Jolebin

Santa should wear dresses. - Primus

Are drag queens women who race cars? - Primus

They were clothes designed to emphasize physical features that they don't have. - Primus

We're small, we're hyperactive…get used to it. - Jolebin on the lack of history for Forest Gnomes

I don't think either my roommate or my landlord would be too happy with a shambling risen following me home. - Vyrshkana about Zeyurn giving everyone Risen to take home
You find me a lease that includes undead in its exclusion policy. - Primus

When I saw him from further away I thought he was a lesbian. - Jolebin about one of the bartenders

Whatcha doing?
Oh, I'm just playing with Asketi's nipple. - Jycanth mocking Vyrshkana after she parsed temple as nipple

My spoon is gone! I called it Jeff and now it's gone. - Primus

How's your steak? - Val, the sexy waiter at Drunken Fish
Beautiful! I'd marry your chef if I weren't flying out on Monday. - Primus

Note to self: You do not like caviar. - Vyrshkana
Caviar? - Jycanth
Fish eggs. - Vyrshkana
Did you just give yourself a caviar caveat? - Jolebin

Anything you want to do with your tongue is fine by me. - Jolebin
I am surrounded by weirdness and innuendo! - Primus

I'm curious about nonviolent communication, not convinced about it. It could work! - Primus

I'm very attracted to Bubba. In case you hadn't noticed. - Jolebin

Take pity on the Gms. They already put in four million hours a week. - Primus

To be defeated by what, athsma? The random hand of fate delivers us from this silly story. - Primus on Yurtle the Turtle

It's all right, but only cause you're really cute. - Jolebin
Thank you. - Val, the really sexy waiter

28 days? I think you mean 28 Days Later, because 28 Days is the one where Sandra Bullock has to go into rehab. - Jolebin on zombie movies

Con always makes me lose track of time. What time it is, what day it is, what country I'm in… - Vyrshkana
What country am I in? - Lisae
Jamaica! - Primus

Do you guys sell insanity? - announcer for Rock Band Tourney
You? Solo? - Bubba
Obseden nods.
Now the band name makes sense. - Bubba

You can't turn a horse into a tank yet? - Vyrshkana
No. You can make a horse look like a tank, but you're still sitting on top of it. - mfberg

I have more dick than half the guys here. - Ignifera
Hey, my sexuality is questioned quite enough already! - Sebastien

So what do you got from me so far? - Algion
A shitload. - Vyrshkana

This is going to be cute - DT
What the fuck is it? - Primus

Forgive me for asking this because I know you know this is cheating because you know I'm not doing it anyway. - Jana/Lelenne

Hey, if they can obfuscate then I can use spies. - Vyrshkana about the GM scavenger hunt

Elves even have difficulty breeding among themselves. - Jolebin on the interracial breeding documents
Well it seems that all the royalty is marrying into the elves. Even the Baron is and even the late Prince Vorclaf did. - Gwenddolyn
That's because their ears are much easier to hold onto! - Primus

I think we should all get apology items. - Krakii
Here, have a hug. - Oscuro

Let's see if we can corner some GMs. - Catalia
Well, you'll have a problem cornering Gms cause they're all at round tables. - Vyrshkana

Some of the time you don't connect. - Oscuro on commune
Most of them fail miserably. - Belnia
Sometimes you get a busy signal. - Oscuro

And after that I expect all players to submit grammatically perfect alteration ideas. - Kveta about the proper hyphenation memo

What's up? - Calaveth
I'm going slightly mad. - Vyrshkana
I hate to say this, but you were already there. - Calaveth

Okay, who set off the fire alarm? - Vyrshkana

I'm not scheduled to win Settlers until next year. - Krakii on winning the 2000 and 2005 Settlers tournaments

He would sit there and blow himself. -Essentius
Up. - Essentius about Arcrest dying 75 times in an hour by using bombs while in Hades

I filled my staff with Right Mind Renovation. - Essentius

Well, you look unsteady. - Vyrshkana
That's because I haven't drunk yet. I drink for balance. - Shakahn

Farrah Fawcett gets up to the pearly gates and god asks her what reward she wants for her life. She goes, "I just want safety for all the children in the world." So God kills Michael Jackson. - Essentius as paraphrased by Jubilee

Wal-mart has boys shorts half off, but Michael Jackson won't any longer. - Arlia's parents (texting)

If they're the GMs and they really care about the commoners why don't they let us eat first? - Etsk

Can I see how heavy the balaclava is? Oh holy shit! - Vyrshkana about Redarch's chainmail

I love breakfast at night, so I'm a happy clam. - Vyrshkana
I like breakfast at night if it's the only thing in my icebox and I'm lazy. - Etsk

Oh god, the Prydaens have hairballs! - Gwenddolyn

Well, you're the only one at dinner. So okay, you win. - Bubba

Ten minute break. Smoke break, drink break, undress break… - Bubba
I can undress right here if you like. - Sebastienne
That won't be necessary - Bubba

Organization is much overrated - Hashi

I love syrup on my… - Vyrshkana
I'm just glad Jolebin isn't here to jump all over the sausage lines. - Vyrshkana after breakfast/dinner

I tried some of the plat punch before coming over to ate - before coming over to eat - which is why I missed about six pancakes trying to catch them. - Jensene

That was amazing, thank you. I've never done anything like that before. - Vyrshkana
I have. - Pancake attendant lady

We got the lap dance over here… - Bubba

It's a grower, not a shower. - Bubba about a tiny hard drive
Just like you, Bubba.

Probably play GS because you point and click. - Bubba on the Nintendo Wii G5

130…6…7…We'll be back after these messages.
Bubba takes a long drink.
Doing the Ryan Seacrest thing, eh?

Bubba, if you were Ryan Seacrest, I'd actually have a chance. - Jolebin
True, true. I don't know, though, you'd have to fight with Lindsey Lohan over me. - Bubba

Is there something tangible to hold? - Eugenides
No, only me. - Bubba
Eugenidies comes up and hugs Bubba

What did you have in mind? - Bubba
I have some ideas, Bubba! - Jolebin

I'm an equal opportunity thief. - Bubba

She's going to get an eye on her forehead. - Bubba

Give away a Solomon Risen! - Jolebin

Custom title. APPROVED custom title. - Bubba

I got green balls. - Shakahn

I got bigger boobs than you do. - Shakahn to Audacia

I walked in right as he was playing with his boobs. - Vyrshkana about Shakahn

The GM that got lost in Paris and had to have the special train - the short train - was GM Aurdun from DR. Makes perfect sense. - Bubba

Quar-elle. - Correcting GM Quarel's pronunciation
He was a jockey, too, so that was kind of weird. A jock-ey. - Bubba

Laurie Sutherland worked for a bank that was closed by the FDIC. I don't think it was her fault. - Bubba

Gm Audacia accidentally set her mother's boss' house on fire. If I had heard the whole story…When she set it on fire, it burned to the ground. She was house-sitting. They got a phonecall on the beach. And they told her to stay in the guesthouse until they got back. It was like the Sims. She was cooking when the fire started. - Bubba

The GM that slept overnight in a roll of carpet under a table was Socharis. I didn't here the story on that one but it might be interesting. - Bubba

GM Gazlo built the first mobile application for his company and got a free iPhone. - Bubba
And he hasn't stopped playing with it since he got here! - someone in crowd

Zeyurn had a car that was destroyed by a hailstorm, which is why you're all paying for that. - Bubba

Now let me check. Someone texted me their number. It wasn't him. I told him he had to be here anyways. But I would still laugh if it was.
You won the Kindle, but you weren't here. - Bubba reading his text message.
Sorry, dude. But it's already too late cause I've already thrown his ticket away so he could walk in right now and cry. Which would kind of suck.

Oh wait, he just answered. - Bubba
WTF, you better be lying. - Bubba reading text message
Am I lying or not?- Bubba to crowd
No! - Crowd
You're a GM, you never lie. - someone
Now it's ringing. - Bubba
Go! - Naos
Oh, he's telling me to go, okay. This next one we'll do is: ten alterations from GM Naos. - Bubba

No, this is the ticket to Hallow Eve. You don't want alterations from him. - Bubba
They won't do you any good.

All right, something else. A lint roller! - Bubba

I do not want to burn another layer of skin off the roof of my mouth. - Vyrshkana

I am the queen of saying the most stupid things. - Jassraina

We're doing a lot of rearranging balls at this point. - Vyrshkana

This isn't like golf where you only have one pocket to get into. - Vyrshkana

I can never remember what this song is. - Vyrshkana
Once in a lifetime. - Ezilana

Hey, you touched it, you did a cheers, you're still part of the group. - Jassraina
Jassraina tips her shot back.
And right now I wish I didn't drink. - Jassraina

And I said, who is he putting balls where he wants? - Jassraina about Grantor

My mouth is so burnt out between the pizza we had tonight and the pizza we had last night that I can't tell the difference between mustard and nacho cheese. - Vyrshkana

It's ten after midnight. Time to pay Bubba again. - Grantor to Jassraina

You're still trying to get rid of that chocolate? - Vyrshkana to Jensene

All I know is my name's down in that damn book. - Shakahn
A lot. - Vyrshkana

It's shit. It's crappy, sweet smelling sparkly girly shit. - Belnia
What is it? - Jolebin
It's sparkly perfume that you can drink. - Belnia

You do realize you're asking drunk people to substantiate quotes. - Jolebin

I swear if anyone else molests my hair out of nowhere I'm going to start killing people. - Liagala

I love muffins! - Oscuro humping the cardboard playhouse

I have the chimney, don't worry! - Oscuro

I was going to climb in the house but I think they killed it. - L iagala

It was a house. Now it's just a mess. - Liagala

Sorry, we have to go fix the empty cup problem. - Liagala

That is an ex-house! - Vyrshkana

Oh, scratch! When you itch, you gotta scratch. - Pool player
Do these guys qualify for quotes? - Vyrshkana

Well, it smelled better than it tasted. - Grantor

I'm so drunk. - Jassraina
Well, close one eye and everything will look straight. - Alex

Call me Kal, call me Alex, call me whatever. - Alex
You're up, Kal. - Jassraina
You're up, Whatever. - Vyrshkana

Pull over. I am the Cleric/Empath Team Lead! I am going to have to arrest you for playing Dragonrealms! - Oscuro

If they had a commercial where they looked for normal people… - Arlia

I'd hug you, but ... - Vyrshkana
You're in the middle of getting naked, so it's okay. - Liagala

Morning. I'm not going to say good morning, because it's just a morning, it's not good. - Vyrshkana
It's a great morning. A wonderful morning! - mfberg
You suck. - Vyrshkana

I had to buy new shoes specifically for the con because I had to have something whiter than my legs so it looked like I have a tan. - Oolan

Sunday Morning. The wrath of Con. - Oolan

How many pages of quotes did you get this year? - Major
Too damn many. - Vyrshkana

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